April 3

Dear Flower,


Last night, I went for a walk. You were content in Daddy's lap, watching your favorite YouTube videos. I put Spark in the bath and told him to be sure to scrub behind his ears. I couldn't quite figure out why, but I felt drawn to the road and the air of the early evening. The sky rumbled a bit with some distant thunder, and I felt the clouds might release rain at any moment.


I walked and felt a few sprinkles of rain on my face. Something nagged at me, but I couldn't quite figure it out. There's a bookstore about a half mile from our house, and I decided to walk in that direction.



Suddenly as I made the final turn to head to the bookstore, I realized what was bothering me. Exactly a year ago, almost to the minute, I had done the exact same thing except I wasn't alone. Spark and you (in utero) were with me.


The night before you were born a year ago was a similar night. Some threatening sprinklings of rain, some distant thunder, and an umbrella accompanied Spark and me as we walked to the bookstore. I watched him trot ahead of me for a minute, and I thought about how soon we were going to met you, his baby sister. He dropped back some, reached for my hand, and looked at the sky. "It's raining, Mommy," he said. I realized it was raining, so I opened our umbrella and held it over our heads. As we kept walking in the rain towards the bookstore, I felt the first, smallest pains in my uterus.


Through the night, I slept fairly well, knowing I was in the earliest stages of labor, wishing that you would come on already and get out. By early the next morning, we were at the hospital, and I stripped down to the vaguely familiar, tie-in-the-back gown. A few hours later, you slithered into this world and onto my belly, into my arms, into my heart forever.


Happy first birthday, baby girl.



Love,

Momma

Two Bathrooms

My family of five had one small bathroom. Well, "small" doesn't really do our bathroom justice. It was tiny. Itsy bitsy. Teeny weeny. I have closets bigger than that bathroom.

I remember many mornings waiting on my dad to finish his morning "business" while I paced in the living room. My brother had it easy. We lived in the country, and he could relieve himself on our rose bushes.

Our closet-sized bathroom had a microscopic closet. The closet was so small that my mom developed a new way of folding towels to get them to stack in there. To this day, I still fold my towels that way. They are compact, tight, and you can stack of lot of towels!

It's a grave injustice for a family to have only one bathroom for so many reasons. And for so many reasons, I'm so glad our curent home has two bathrooms.

Reason One: Defying all logic, it never fails that Spark has to use the facilities at the same time that someone else does. Buzz goes into bathroom. About 15 seconds pass. Then, Spark whines, "Mommy, I have to go poopy." To avoid a possibly nasty scenario or law-breaking deposit, I lead him to the grand place known as the "other bathroom."

Reason Two why I am so glad we have two bathrooms: an extra tub for cleaning up messes. If you're a parent or you've ever worked with young kids, you know the complete terror of having one poop in the tub. Flower, our almost one-year old has taken quite nicely to pooping in the tub. She's at the messy age where she requires at least one bath a day, and she's also at the age where most of those baths result in a pile of steaming turds in the water. It's even worse when the kids are sharing the tub.

Take two nights ago, for instance. Buzz is giving the kids a bath. We're on high alert with Flower, but she was having such a good time splashing with Spark in the tub that we let the bath go on a little too long. About two seconds before Buzz lifted her out of the tub, she squatted. And, well, that's the end of the toy bath. But, we quickly composed ourselves, taking the kids to the "other bathroom" for a quick hose down in the tub. How did we clean the poop out of the tub? Well, that's another story.

Reason Three: I can junk up my bathroom without worrying about guests seeing the clutter. I consider myself a pretty low-maintenance gal when it comes to cosmetics, bath products, and hair styling. But, it's amazing how much stuff it takes to keep a low-maintenance profile. It takes a lot of chemicals to look natural these days, indeed! It's so nice to have space to let that stuff pile up where no one who comes to my home can see it. Unless of course, the bathroom is occupied and someone needs to go to the "other bathroom." I'll deal with that when it happens.

I wonder how my family survived all those years with just one bathroom. One day, I might live in a house with one bathroom, and I'm sure that will result in a lengthy talk with my mom about managing counter space and microscopic linen closets. But two work so well for me that I hate to even think of that possibility!

Variations on a Potato

Buzz and I are trying to be more responsible with our money, and my part of that involves saving money on groceries. I've found that making a menu plan saves me money and time. I have been planning our weekly menus on Sunday nights based on what's left in the pantry/fridge/freezer. Buzz had last week off for spring break, and we were still roaming around in a fog of disbelief come last night. 

This afternoon, instead of knowing what I would fix for dinner, I reverted back to my "browse-the-fridge/pantry" stare. I saw a sack of potatoes on the counter that I had bought a few days ago. I peeked in the bag and realized that about 4.5 pounds of the 5-pound bag remained, and while they weren't spoiled, they weren't looking so hot. I decided that the responsible thing to do would be to cook something with potatoes...lots of potatoes.

So, that's what I did. While the kids ran around in their post back-to-the-real-world stupor, I washed, peeled, and cut 4.5 pounds of potatoes, wondering what I might do with them. My mind drifted to memories of potatoes, of how my parents planted a garden early on in their marriage. My mother didn't know that potatoes grew underground and she hoed them all up by accident. 

I thought about how Momma used to stew potatoes for dinner on an all-too-regular basis. I hated most things involving potatoes when I was a kid, but I especially loathed stewed potatoes. Stewed potatoes, for those of you who don't know, are potatoes boiled in water until some of them break down and make kind of a creamy mush for the other pieces to swirl around in. It's kind of like potato soup without the cheese, bacon, and so on. It's just potatoes, stewed.

Potatoes are a poor man's friend, though. They are cheap, filling, easy to cook, and despite the bad rap the Atkins diet gave them, potatoes are fairly nutritious. Because I have had anemia,  I know that potatoes are a great source of iron. One baked potato also has more potassium than a banana. 

The cheap part is why we had so many stewed potatoes growing up, though. We were dirt poor, and potatoes made a hearty meal. Momma made more than just stewed potatoes, though. She fried them, mashed them, and baked them. And, I didn't enjoy any iteration of her potato skills. I found potatoes to be bland and uninteresting unless they were raw, and boy I would eat bites of raw potato as she sliced and diced them for our dinner.  

I've studied the potato some, and one of the grocery stores here in town has an excellent selection of potatoes. They have purple potatoes, blue potatoes, red potatoes, more...All these make the Russet look pretty boring. 

But, it's the Russet potato I was dealing with tonight. As I stood looking at the 4.5 pounds of cut up potatoes, I realized I better find some way to make them interesting enough to eat. 

Tonight's recipe:

Twice-Baked Potato Casserole

Serves 6-12, depending on whether you use it for a side dish or an entree.

Ingredients:

• 4.5 pounds of potatoes (partially peeled, cut up into 2-inch pieces, thoroughly washed)
  
• 1/2 cup cream cheese (leftover from breakfast bagels from a couple week's ago)
  
• 8 ounces of Colby Jack cheese, shredded
  
• 1 medium onion, diced (also found wasting away on my counter)
  
• 2/3 cup buttermilk 
  
• salt and paprika to taste
  

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 350.
   
2. Boil the potatoes until very tender, mushy even.
   
3. Drain the potatoes well.
   
4. In large bowl, mash potatoes a bit. Mix in the cream cheese, half the Colby Jack cheese, the onion, and the buttermilk until fairly smooth. Do not mix too much A little texture is good.
   
5. Then, add some salt and paprika.
   
6. Taste.
   
7. Add more salt.
   
8. Taste.
   
9. Add more salt.
   
10. Pour the mixture into a deep-dish casserole pan and cover. (I used Pampered Chef's deep covered baker.)
    
11. Cook at 350 for about 35 minutes. 
    
12. Remove. Uncover. Evenly sprinkle the other half of the shredded cheese on top. 
    
13. Cook at 350 for 15 minutes or until cheese is slightly golden brown and bubbly.
    

Variations:

Use whatever you've got on hand. No cream cheese or buttermilk? Use sour cream and regular milk. No onion or Colby Jack cheese? Use some green chiles and cheddar. Have some extra garlic cloves? Mash them and add them in the mix.  

Sewing 101, Part 2

Tonight's sewing class ushered in some major successes for me. The first? The following words from the instructor were NOT directed at me:

"If you slam the presser foot down again, I will take you in the backyard and spank you."

Other successes?

• I did not burn myself with the iron (though I did confess my latent fear of irons to the instructor).


• I only pricked myself once with a pin.


• I finally learned what the take-up lever really is.


• This:

Cash Works for Me

I have spent 9 days without my debit card. Other than the occasional twitch I get when a Google search turns up hits on Amazon.com, I feel much better.

For years, I've wandered around in the misconception that a debit card is the same as using cash. On the surface, it basically is the same as cash. A debit card represents what you have in the bank, though there might be a slight drag between purchases and the account updating. A debit card is definitely NOT a credit card. However, spending with a debit card is psychologically different than spending with cash. Studies show that people spend more when they use ANY type of plastic. There's something magical about holding a $20 bill in my hand and knowing that it's going away that makes me want to hold onto it a little more. I'm more frugal with cash.

For what it's worth, I don't want to be a tightwad. I've never been that way. In fact, I've been pretty much the opposite, not really one to have a budget or a plan for my money. Buzz and I have been financially blessed that despite our erratic spending, we haven't completely gone under. We still have shelter, food, and fun. But, we realize that we haven't been honorable in our spending patterns. The solution for us to move to a cash-only plan. Buzz and I have moved to a cash-only plan for almost all of our spending. We still pay our bills online, and when we do order something online, we have to use something other than cash.

But, how do you manage cash? Our budget allows for about $880 a month in spending for things like groceries, gas, household items, baby items, cosmetics, professional services, and so on. Do I just stuff $880 into my purse and carry on?

Our financial advisor, a wonderful woman named Sharee, swears by the old-fashioned envelope system. It's similar to what people of yesteryear used to do with coffee tins and mason jars. They'd keep money in them and take the money out only when the items were needed. Now, Buzz and I have a stack of envelopes where we divide the cash into the categories it's meant for and we take the cash out when we need it. We take to the store what we're committed to spending and no more. The goal is to actually have some money left over in the envelopes at the end of the month.

The result? I'm thinking more about our groceries. We're planning shopping trips instead of just heading off to Ikea or Sam's. Some unexpected benefits so far?Along with saving money, we're saving tons of time! I'm shocked at how much time I was really spending in stores. We're also wasting less. I read in a recent Reader's Digest article that the typical American wastes 12 percent of the food they buy at the grocery store. I'm sad to say that our family was probably way above that mark. But, we're making changes. I've started taking time to go through my freezer and fridge before settling on a menu plan for the week.

It hasn't been easy. We said just last night that we can't believe it's only been 9 days. It takes 90 days to change a habit, though, and we're working hard to make it through our 90 days. We want to spend less, and using cash works for us.

What Working Part-Time Has Taught Me

For the first time in a long time, I do not have a full-time job (not counting being a mom because yeah, we all know parenting is more than a full-time job). I’ve spent nearly a year now working part-time, with a good portion of my hours from home. The perks? Obviously, I have fewer hours to report to "the man" which means more time for family and home responsibilities. Working from home is great, too. I can be with my baby while I work, allowing me to nurse pretty much full-time. I don’t feel guilty about going to the park for a jog with the kiddos in the afternoon. And, I have the great luxury of working in my jammies if I want to. (I usually don’t, though.)

Of course, part-time employment has its share of drawbacks, too. Knocking off some hours means that I took a pretty hefty paycut. I also locked myself into my current position (as far as status and money goes) because part-time at my employer means no raises and no promotions ever. Working from home is a little hairy at times. It’s not uncommon to find myself vexed with deciding whether to play with my infant who is wanting some attention or to discuss projects with a coworker who is also needing my attention. Doing both at the same time is a recipe for disaster. Putting either off for too long also equals disaster.

Working part-time, though, has taught me a great deal about time management that I never knew before. Here are my new rules for working efficiently:

Rule No. 1: Zoning Out Is for People with Office Jobs
My Past: It was my favorite thing to do in the morning: Get a cup of coffee, sit down at my desk, open my email/calendar program, and stare. I might zone out as much as 10 or 15 minutes, maybe even 20, mindlessly checking a few emails, or just staring at the calendar, thinking about the day.
My Present: If I have a few minutes in the morning before the children have awakened, it’s power work time. I log on to my company’s VPN, skip the email, and dive straight into the tasks I meticulously wrote down at the end of the previous day.
My Take: I have found that early in the morning I can get about an hour’s worth of work done in 20 minutes.

Rule No. 2: Lunch Breaks Are for Wimps
My Past: It’s not uncommon for folks at my company to take long, leisurely lunches as much as once a week. When I first started the job, I thought this was crazy. But, I soon learned it was part of our unique culture and settled myself down into it quite nicely.
My Present: Lunch is an opportunity for work. The kids are distracted with food. The laptop is portable, so I can work at the kitchen table while helping them with refills and spills. I eat my own lunch at the computer while the baby enjoys her post-lunch nap.
My Take: Lunch is the best time to check and respond to emails that do not require me to do much additional research.

Rule No. 3: Multitasking Is for the Unproductive
My Past: My desk rivaled the final rundown of a popular Christmas song: 12 computer apps running, 11 chat windows blinking, 10 edits I'm entering, 9 emails lingering, 8 webpages calling…
My Present: I do one thing at a time, and oh the glory! It’s easier to get something finished. It’s easier to come back to one task after something or someone interrupts me and remember what I was doing. It's easier to concentrate! I’d rather finish something and move on to another task than work on 12 tasks at the same time.
My Take: I’m actually getting more stuff done more quickly than before.

Rule No. 4: Get Rid of the Chaff
My Past: Anytime anyone asked me to help out with a project or do something at work, I would almost always say yes. The result was that I collected numerous extra projects that I had to keep up with and, well, do.
My Present: I’m getting rid of a lot of my extra projects, and I’m saying "no" more often. Recently, I had the awesome opportunity to chair a conference that my department produces. The old me would have climbed on that with spurs on. But I elected to say no. And, it felt great.
My Take: Taking two weeks to consider a project gives me more time to think through whether I want to add the responsibility and time commitment to my plate; it also lets the asking party know that I’m serious about checking out the offer before shouting “yes” or “no.”

Of course, being a full-time parent and primary caregiver for my children means that all bets are off very frequently. Even the best-planned day can turn into a whirlwind of inefficiency. That's when I break out my WCS kit: burn the midnight oil and pray.

Talk about Milestones

Language Milestones

I'll never forget the morning Spark said his first word. Clear as a bell, he said "Mama" while looking straight at me one morning in August 2005. Soon after, other words followed. He spoke the typical baby words for many things. Milk was "gnak" and Daddy was "da da bop bop." We oohhed and aahhhed and laughed over the many words he tried to say.

Then, one day, he started speaking in sentences. Soon, he was answering questions and saying words we didn't understand, words we didn't know he knew like "octagon."

For the past year and half, I haven't paid a lot of attention to Spark's language. He has a few issues with pronunciation. For instance, his "L" sounds still come out a little like "W" sounds: "Wove" instead of "love." But, that's normal (or at least so says our pediatrician). He seems to be progressing normally for his age. I do notice when he says a new word in the appropriate context like "awesome" and I try to make him say multi-syllable words properly like "quesadilla" and "guacamole"--both important words in our home.

It kind of hit me a couple weeks ago that Spark's conversation skills have matured. We used to have pretty much one-way conversations. For instance, when I pick him up from school, I usually ask him how he's doing. Most of the conversations, until recently, worked like a question/answer trivia game:

Me: What did you eat for lunch today at school?
Spark: A cheeseburger and french fries.
Me: What did you drink?
Spark: Milk.
Me: What was your favorite part of school today?
Spark: Playing with the cars.
Me: Did you go to sleep at naptime?
Spark: No.
Me: Did you miss your Mommy?
Spark: A little.

Now, we're having conversations where he tells me things without being prompted and where he asks some of the questions, too.

Spark: Mommy, I peed in my pants today.
Me: Why did you do that, Spark?
Spark: Because I was taking a good nap. Mrs. Mackey said that I had to change my clothes. And I peed on my blankie, too. It's in my bag.
Me: Ok. It's ok. We'll wash them at home.
Spark: Can I get a snack? I'm very hungry. Can we stop at the gas station and get a snack?
Me: No, we're going home. I have you a snack there.

He's also interjecting movie lines into conversation, which I'm sure is a milestone. Last night, for instance, he was eating a special treat (Oreo cookies) with milk. He looked up after he finished all the cookies, and I told him to drink the rest of his milk. He said, "Everything's delicious, Mommy." Then, he looked at me and his eyes got a little wider. He took another exaggerated drink of his milk and again said, "Everything's delicious!"

It took me a minute because I don't watch as much Disney Pixar as he does. But, then I realized that line comes from The Incredibles. Spark said the line a few more times before running off to wash up. He seemed proud of himself.

Another big milestone we've hit recently is what I'm calling "boyspeak." Anytime anyone says any word relating to anything remotely taboo or gross, Spark has to comment.

So, if you happen to say butt, poop, or fart near my son, you'll likely hear: "Awwwwhhhhh.....You said poop! You said poop!" Likewise, if you happen to show or do any of those things, Spark will let the world know: "Look at that. It's a butt!!"

I wonder what great language milestone awaits around the corner...